Who said economics is the dismal science and economists are dismal?


Folks came from afar just to see
Two Economists who'd agreed to agree.
    While the event did take place,
    It proved a disgrace.
They agreed one plus one adds to three.

There once was an old beggar man
Who dined from a ripe garbage can.
    But they chased him away
    From his elegant cafe;
He embarrassed the Economists' Grand Plan.

Said a man not dressed all that neat,
With shoes covering part of his feet:
    That Safety Net's a joke,
    For anyone who's broke.
Now me, I sleep in the street.

There really is no paradox,
Said the man while buying some locks.
    "I'll secure all the doors
    On both of my floors,
Since my home's a split-level cardboard box."

There once was an Economist who thought,
Which so outraged his peers that they sought
    To label him extreme
    (Which, to them, it did seem)
And have all his thought go for nought.

Just think of the millions unemployed,
Whose lives are seldom enjoyed.
    The Economists say: "So what?
    They deserve what they got.
And besides, inflation's destroyed."

No two Economists can think quite the same.
To uniqueness they each stake a claim.
    Different Theories abound,
    Each peddled as profound.
Unfortunately, they're all a bit lame.

The problem is shaping societies
In ways with proper proprieties.
    Should it be Capital-ISM,
    Or another Barbar-ISM,
Like Social-ISM's 57 Varieties?

The tragedy is it's so needless.
To facts, Economists seem heedless.
    The technology is there,
    With ample to spare,
Yet millions of people go feedless.

Said the Economist with head up his ass,
As he lectured in front of his class:
    "My Theories are great;
    They seal mankind's fate."
Others said he simply passed gas.

Just what did humanity do
To deserve an Economist or two?
    We'd be better sans any;
    Instead we got many.
No wonder the Economy's so skew.

Economists live in a Strange Wonderland.
They talk of an Invisible Hand.
    While no one can see it,
    They seem to agree it
Somehow makes just Everything Grand.

Economists come from the Left and the Right.
Either way, it's a terrible sight.
    Using arguments centuries old,
    Worse yet, confused when retold,
They're as much cause, as cure, of the fight.

Mr. Smith's Invisible Illusion
Has grown to the present delusion:
    "Cooperation is attained
    When Competition's sustained."
Hence, the planet's confusion.

1999 by Robley E. George


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